I need you. So much closer. All of you.

I want to be able to kiss away your pain and to forget mine. Your presence would be enough to save me.

I’m not really living, I’m just breathing and going through life without a single meaningful thought. I don’t feel or think anything until I’m alone and all my emotions weigh me down. I don’t know how to live because I’ve never had to do anything for myself. We are pushed through school, then university and our job. But then what? I don’t know what I want after that pushing stops. I’ve never thought about what I want in life. I can’t imagine my future, because I don’t want it. I have no goals, hobbies, cherished moments and absolutely no motivation. I have nothing to strive for, nothing to hold on for. Yes, I have people a love, and a few who return the feeling, but everybody leaves eventually. I believe “we are born alone and die alone, everything else is just an illusion.” I wish I didn’t. I wish still had the faith of my younger self and thought no matter what love will pull you through. There is an end to everything, even love. I don’t want to feel anything. I don’t want these thoughts. I don’t want to live. I’m not alive, I’m just occupying space.